My grandmother. Simply complex. Poised elegance. Love, unwavering. As with most women (of any hue), she was so many things to so many people. But as a black African American-Caribbean woman, she was often shadowed for the sake of the greater good. Known for her refinement, excellence, good deeds...her beauty. Known for her commitment to education, faith and community. Known for her love of family. Her dimples would always flash from memories of family, new news from her children, grandchildren and great grands.
Two things I will remember and live by…her legacy.
One, don't let life take your voice, literally. In her last few years she was unable to fully or clearly communicate. I remember in one of our morning coffee conversations years ago, she said she wanted to write a book about living overseas...and as her hands began to shake and her voice began to waver, it never came to pass. There is a grave error in that somehow. THE LESSON: elders, we need your stories, your pain, your joy...even that is legacy. Another lesson: cousins and siblings, make time to listen, learn and appreciate. The enemy often steals our strength by hiding the depth of our roots.
Two, live abundantly, boldly and unabashedly in "the lane" God forged for you. For our family that means experience the world. And that does not always mean a plane ride to a new continent, it can mean traveling to a new borough, state or trying a new cuisine. But why? It keeps us humble, nimble, appreciative and reverent of the God we serve and the humanity through whom HE shines. It fuels our own purpose. Our family is amazing. As we experience this passing, let it keep our perspective in check. Strive to live your "why" with wisdom because our family does the "how" in spades.
Grandma, Dorothy Holder Sands, I love you. I will miss your rock of support, the simple memories of being together. I honor you, we honor you and are grateful that you have eternal peace.